Pet Loss Florida…My own journey coping with pet loss and bereavement.
Papo circa 2003
“You were my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye.”
My first blog post is a bit personal to share my own journey of experiencing pet loss. The picture here is of Papo (aka Papolito along with many other nicknames) who was one of the best dogs you could ever meet because of his big heart, intelligence and “southern charm”. I adopted my lemon beagle while I was a doctoral student at the University of Georgia when he was only eight weeks old and could fit in the palm of one of my hands. He was my everything and we went everywhere possible together. We shared countless moments of celebration and tough times as well, with Papo always being a loyal and consistent source of comfort. I had the honor to be a part of all of his milestones in life and he had the opportunity to share some of mine.
My beloved animal companion was truly a “Marley and Me” dog in how he lived with mischief in his early to mid-years of life. He truly enjoyed living life to the fullest and helping me to do the same. As he began to age, and I noticed daily changes in his energy level I began to struggle with anticipatory bereavement for a few years. I worried about his wellness and began to contemplate how life would be unimaginable without him. On February 21, 2017, we awoke to one of the toughest days ever. He was non-responsive and lethargic, so we rushed him to his established veterinarian. We were informed of him being diagnosed with CHF and to come pick him up after they kept him for observation. That same evening his condition worsened to the point where he required emergent care. With the help of a family member we drove him to his last destination, the emergency animal hospital where we had to make a tough decision about his life due to failing health.
The first few days after his passing was filled with intense sorrow, pain, guilt and hurt. As a helping professional I had to take time off from work to care of myself before I could resume caring for clients. After a week of grieving privately, I proactively began to look for a licensed mental health provider who understood the impact of pet loss and bereavement. While I did locate many people who provide general bereavement support, I knew as a practicing psychologist this would not be the same as working with a provider who truly values and honors the human-animal bond like me.
I could not locate a provider for specialty pet loss therapy so I decided to research pet loss support groups. I also read whatever I could find online to make sense of the intense pain as well as what is known as “disenfranchised grief”. I joined the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement who offered multiple “virtual chat” groups each week. Even at the time I could not hear or see others, it was comforting to know there was a collective of people who came together at specific times who understood what I was going through and vice versa. I found myself writing in the chat to provide comfort to fellow pet parents in pain which is natural due to my life work, and this led to the facilitator Dr. Wallace Sife (https://www.aplb.org/our-founder/) to reach out to me. He encouraged me to join his program as a fellow psychologist and at the time I had to respectfully decline because I needed the time and space to process my own intense grief. I vowed to myself and Dr. Sife that when I did feel more centered, I would be of service by helping others struggling with pet loss and bereavement.
Not a day goes by that I do not take time to honor the memory and impact of Papo. He made me a better person and our fourteen years together were some of the best years of my life. Over time a part of my professional practice has been dedicated specialty care to honor the human-animal bond, inclusive of pet loss and bereavement.
Pet Loss Florida is in dedication to the unconditional love and regard of Papo and my desire to be a light for those who have experienced the significant, profound loss of a best furry friend. I understand and I am here for you.
